Jack Everyman, Lego Agent - Part 2


Unexpectedly, a motorboat screams up to the jetty. The man in the driving seat is the one who was lurking ominously at the airport. His passenger is sporting a distinctive yellow helmet.

This passenger, Jack realises, is Angela: his trusted colleague and beloved fiancée.

The white helmet speaks.

Apparently, every ship in the harbour is rigged with explosives.

Salmon suspects he is bluffing, and tells him as much.

The white helmet would like to know if the exploding aeroplane that's all over the news was a bluff, too.

Stunned, Levett demands to know what in blazes they want from him.

The white helmet wants Levett's very valuable crate, of course. The one which contains the mysterious work of enormous cultural significance.

The yellow helmet is carrying a detonator for all the boat bombs, he claims. He advises them not to try nothing funny while he goes somewhere and does something for some reason.

The white helmet leaves his accomplice on the jetty and speeds out to sea.

Levett and Chief Inspector Salmon exchange recriminations. Jack takes the opportunity to slip away for a meeting with the yellow-helmeted Angela.


Jack produces Angela's love letter and they embrace. Angela tells Jack that the man in the white helmet is called Tony.

Jack finds it interesting that she and Tony are on first-name terms. Very cosy.

Angela ignores this remark, and says that Tony has gone to meet a buyer on a yacht. Jack is going to take a boat out solo to intercept them, and maybe rough them up a little in the name of justice.

She gives him the yacht's coordinates and a walkie-talkie to stay in touch.

Jack hops in to the coastguard's speedboat and expertly skims away across the surface of the water.



As Jack heads out to sea, Tony returns to collect Angela from the dock.

Together, they load Mr. Levett's very valuable crate on to the back of their boat.

Jack has been tricked. There never was any yacht. There never were any explosives on the ships. What's more, there's very little fuel in the speedboat he's just borrowed.

Angela has turned to the dark side. She found out about Jack's other women. Betrayed and hurt, she fell in love with Tony while working with him undercover.

And once she's finished stealing this crate, she's going totally kill Jack's worthless ass.

Oh, Jack. What a tragic way to learn respect for women.


As his engine sputters to a halt in the open sea, Jack understands the trap he's fallen into.

Fortunately, his ten years of spy experience have taught him that there's usually some convoluted way to cheat death.

A curious shark patrols the water.

Bingo.



Jack nimbly fashions a crude fishing line from a length of dental floss and a paperclip. He looks around for bait. Something meaty and bloody.

Without ceremony, Jack snaps the ring finger cleanly off his left hand, Angela's engagement ring still attached, and fixes it to the hook. He slings the fleshy morsel into the waves.

The shark takes the bait, and begins to tug Jack back towards the shore.

Meanwhile, Tony, Angela and their precariously-balanced cargo have arrived at what they thought would be the site of Jack's untimely demise. But Jack is nowhere to be seen.

Tony is wondering where Jack has gone. The plan was to kill Jack and make a clean getaway. This is a total cock-up.

Angela insists that it isn't her fault.

Tony would like to know precisely whose fault it is, then.

Angela wants Tony to give it a rest for once, since she's not leaving without having her revenge on Jack. She asks him to turn the boat around while she sets up her seriously awesome missile launcher.

She's going to totally blow some stuff up.

[Click here for Part 3]